Top 100 funniest jokes of all time

1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
5. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
7. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
9. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
10. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
11. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
12. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
14. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
15. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
16. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
17. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
18. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
19. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
20. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast!
21. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
22. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
23. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
24. Why did the golfer change his socks? Because he had a hole in one.
25. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the keys.
26. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
27. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
28. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
29. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
30. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
31. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.
32. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
33. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
34. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
35. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
36. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
37. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
38. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
39. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.
40. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
41. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
42. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
43. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King of the sea.
44. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
45. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
46. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
47. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
48. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
49. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
50. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
51. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
52. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
53. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"
54. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
55. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
56. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
57. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
58. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King of the sea.
59. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
60. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
61. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
62. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
63. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
64. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
65. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
66. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
67. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.
68. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
69. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
70. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
71. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
72. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
73. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
74. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? "Do you smell carrots?"
75. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
76. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
77. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
78. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
79. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
80. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
81. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
82. What did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
83. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
84. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
85. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
86. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
87. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
88. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
89. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
90. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
91. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
92. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
93. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
94. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
95. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
96. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
97. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast!
98. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
99. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
100. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.